Mothers and daughters get into many fights. Still, only a few things can change the unbreakable connection between the pair. Typically, a mother-daughter bond might shatter when one party feels exceptionally hurt.
While daughters often bring up issues about their mothers hurting them, mothers can get hurt by daughters too. This might be due to daughters acting disrespectful, ungrateful, or neglecting their mothers altogether.
In this article, we’ll tell you everything that happens when a daughter hurts her mother, and how you can act in this situation, whether you’re a child or a parent. Let’s dive in.
5 Ways a Daughter Might Hurt Her Mother
Each family is different. Accordingly, what might be a bug problem for some mothers, can be minute to others. Yet, the pain mothers feel when their daughters hurt them is the same.
Here are some of the ways daughters can hurt their mothers:
1. Not Listening
As the saying goes, mother knows best. Well, female intuition can be powerful. Therefore, when daughters refuse their mother’s advice, it’ll feel disheartening.
Not listening to your mother can also be a sign of disrespect in many cultures. So, while daughters want to maintain their independence, they should know that their mothers only want what’s best for them.
2. Keeping Secrets
Mothers and daughters have an exceptionally special relationship. Well, secrets can destroy any relationship, especially familial ones.
Keeping secrets, even small ones, indicates to your loved ones that they aren’t close to you. In turn, this can spark feelings of resentment and suspicion.
Additionally, secrets create a false sense of reality. Once the secrets are unveiled, a mother’s perception of her daughter completely changes.
3. Neglecting the Relationship
Relationships take work, including mother-daughter relationships. Unfortunately, as daughters grow older, they rarely spend quality time with their mothers, call them, or even appreciate their presence.
Taking your mother for granted might result in tension and conflict. In contrast, the more time you spend with your mother, the stronger your connection will be.
4. Blaming Her Mother
Many daughters blame their mothers for all their problems, instead of focusing on real issues.
Since our mothers dedicated their lives to us, it’s only natural that they feel disrespected and hurt when we blame them.
Moreover, society sets unrealistic expectations for mothers. So, when a daughter also expects her mother to be perfect, it can be quite upsetting.
5. Hurting Herself
One of the hardest parts about parenting is going through the same pain as your child. Mothers wish to carry their daughter’s burdens and relieve their struggles. Sadly, that’s not possible.
For this reason, it can be extremely painful when a mother has to watch her daughter suffer. While this is inevitable at times, sometimes daughters might make bad decisions, befriend the wrong people, or refuse their parents’ help, causing their mother unimaginable hurt.
What Happens When a Daughter Hurts Her Mother?
You’ll always find forgiveness in the hearts of mothers. However, mothers are human beings too. Just because your mother forgives you for hurting her, doesn’t mean she’s not struggling.
When a daughter breaks the special bond between her and her mother, the mother might feel betrayal, anger, anguish, and disappointment.
The mother can react to those feelings in many ways. For starters, some mothers lash out, exacerbating the tense situation. On the other hand, some mothers can take the time to process the hurt and find methods to communicate with their daughters.
How to React When a Daughter Hurts Her Mother
When a conflict arises between a daughter and a mother, it’s crucial to react correctly. This way, you prevent the problem from intensifying and maintain the precious mother-daughter bond.
Take Time to De-Stress
We’re prone to saying hurtful things when we’re hurt. That’s why both mothers and daughters should take some time alone to reflect on the situation. Once your mind has cleared, you can approach the issue again with empathy and understanding.
Openly Address the Issue
Don’t sweep things under the rug. This will only end up in resentment. Instead, both parties should openly communicate about the problem.
The conversation should focus mainly on feelings, not facts. Additionally, both parties should set aside their pride and validate the other’s experience.
Set Boundaries
You might want your relationship with your daughter or mother to be as intimate as possible, yet boundaries are critical for a respectful connection.
Boundaries look different for everyone. Most importantly, they maintain both daughters’ and mothers’ self-respect, allowing them to converse intimately, yet without insolence.
Involve a Third Party
If all else fails, there’s no shame in involving a third party in your conflict. Remember that no mother wants to lose her daughter and vice versa. The ultimate goal is to resolve the disagreement and maintain the relationship.
For this reason, bringing in a third, impartial person might be beneficial. This could be a family member, a friend, or a therapist.
Conclusion
No mother wants to go through the feeling of being hurt by her children, particularly her daughter. When a daughter hurts her mother, it can feel like betrayal.
Daughters might accidentally hurt their mothers in numerous ways, such as expecting them to be perfect, blaming them, neglecting their relationship, or hurting themselves.
It’s crucial to remember that a mother’s top priority is her daughter. So, if an issue arises, both daughters and mothers must focus on the bigger picture, aiming to maintain their close bond rather than winning an argument.
